Emotional Freedom Technique is a therapy that’s been on my radar for a little while because I follow life coaches like Denise Duffield Thomas who swear by it, however I hadn’t really tried it on myself until recently. When the opportunity came up to work with Olga Bochareva (a relationship coach who specialises in EFT) it seemed like the perfect opportunity as the new triggers I was experiencing were all to do with my new romantic relationship.
Ask and the Universe shall provide I say!
I’d already met Olga as I did an interview with her for some research she was doing so I already felt warm to her, I liked her approach and I liked the way she explained how ETF worked. Before the therapy, she asked me to fill out a questionnaire which was quite comprehensive, asking me questions about the my emotional triggers, and memories etc.
As always, this review is set into three parts – description of the session, how I felt directly before and after the treatment, my overall review.
At the start of the session we talked about the three self limiting beliefs and the emotional triggers I had mentioned in my questionnaire and how they’re affecting my life. She also explained how the session would work – that she would run through one limiting belief with me and teach me the EFT technique to remove the emotional feeling attached to this belief. She also explained how EFT works by breaking down the feelings and memories attached to the beliefs, which seems really interesting for me. Even though I understand this on a cognitive level I know that I’m finding it hard to shift the challenging emotions that sometime take hold of my self-talk and my behaviour no matter how hard I try to shake them off.
The particular belief I struggle with is feeling like I don’t have freedom, or that I’m going to be trapped – especially when it comes to a relationship, and also in my work life. Obviously this stops me committing to things deeply and I totally sabotage my potential.
Olga showed me the tapping points that we were going to use, starting from the forehead and ending on the chest and she explained that we were going to tap on them as we said certain sentences. She then asked me to go back to the memory and really feel into what it was like being there. I did and I felt anger in my gut and upset, it was a pain that I haven’t visited in a long time and it felt intense. I cried, through gritted teeth. She asked me how intense it felt on the scale of 1-10, and for me it was a 10. I was really pissed off with the people in my memory and I hadn’t really forgiven them fully.
Once I had explained the memory and what was going on, we went back to feeling into the memory and began tapping, and I followed her instructions to tap and repeated the words after her which were mainly words of forgiveness. I let go of more tears as we went through this exercise. She then asked me how I felt
We then went back to the memory and I saw it from a different perspective – there were a lot of people I was angry and upset with in this memory. We did the tapping exercise again, reciting some slightly different words about forgiving and understanding what was going on. I cried again.
We went back to the memory two more times and each time she asked me to feel into the memory and give it a rating of 1-10 each time.
Over the course of vising back into the memory 4 times and tapping the emotions away each time, the feeling of intensity reduced significantly. I noticed that I went from angry and upset, down to frustration, down to mild frustration, then to not really having any feeling towards the people or the memory at all.
What I found really interesting was that every time I went back to the memory, I viewed it from a different angle – there really was so much going on at that time! During the final tapping session we focused on gratitude and how I was grateful for this experience because it really has made me the person that I am. This was actually the very experience that gave me great lessons in emotional intelligence because I could see something that was happening to me from a few different perspectives, and this is at the very foundation of what I teach. That hurt people hurt people, and if we could understand what someone is going through then we’d probably have compassion for their situation rather than hold it against them.
I still don’t fully understand how EFT works, but I know that it’s important in the healing process to work on the conscious and subconscious in order to fully release the emotions that we can hold in our bodies. I felt a lot better after the session, and I’ve since noticed that times when I might have felt anger or hurt or jealousy in a situation, that I suddenly don’t anymore. The funny thing is that I didn’t even realise they were there but I realise the absence of them. There’s definitely more work to do because I know I have blocks when it comes to money and still a few when it comes to connecting deeply in relationships and trust. I’ve decided to practice these techniques on my own, and explore EFT as much as I can on my own and when the time is right I’ll reach again for another session or course.
Pre session sense check – 1 hour before
Physically – generally relaxed, no pain in my body these days and I’m feeling quite healthy in myself. I still have a little bit of fatigue but generally I’m well and healthy.
Emotionally – felling slightly low in energy and motivation, a bit upset that certain things in life aren’t going my way. A bit down on myself.
Post session sense check – 1 hour after
Physically – I felt a lot more relaxed in my body and I’m used to this happening when I release emotion from my body. My arms feel really relaxed and I’m also quite tired and ready to sleep.
Emotionally – I feel more open and more in my heart zone. I know I’d been in my masculine over the past few days and I’d felt quite disconnected, I actually was trying to meditate these feelings away but it wasn’t working so well. I feel like I’m more aligned with myself now, it’s a comforting feeling, like a hug, a kind of contentness.
Update – one week after
One week after the therapy and I’ve had no triggers and I’ve generally felt a lot calmer in myself and when I interact with my partner. We haven’t been able to spend any time together yet – this is what happened during long distance relationships – but I don’t feel any resistance on my part. I’m sure once we spend a long period of time together that I’ll get to test out the tapping techniques on my own and see how I go. I’ll update this page later to share all!
Generally Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT or Tapping as it’s also known as, is a great tool to use for all things emotional. It’s one of those tools that grounds you, out of your emotion naturally and for that I think it’s a great addition to have in a therapy toolkit. What I really like about it is that I’m not dependent on a therapist at all and I can use these techniques, and adapt them as and how I like.
I think it really depends where you are in your recovery journey as to how much of an effect it will have on you, because ultimately you’ve got to actually do the exercise, and if you’re in a state of depression or fatigue it might be hard to get the energy to start. However, that’s why people like Olga offer programs, coaching and mentoring so that you can have someone to keep you accountable throughout the first part of the journey. I’d recommend this as a very useful technique for someone to get out of their worries and ground down, and I’m definitely an advocate.